Asslamualaikum,
its been a long time i haven't update my blog. it's not because of being busy, it's because of high spirit of laziness. err, macam pelik pulak tetiba nak speaking kan. so back to normal, write in malay. heee :)
aku tak ingat whether i have wrote here that i have lost someone i love last few months. its actually takes time to tell everybody that i have lost him. its not that easy to spill everything to someone else, and of course, i'm not that kind of person who easily tell everything even though your my very best friend.
kadang-kadang, permergian yang tiba-tiba but kita hilang arah. yes, i admit yang aku memang tak boleh terim abah dah tak de. and ku tak sempay tengok bah for the very last time. easy to say, but hard to handle. yes, that's my feeling. Everything that i did, everything that i say, might look cool. but believe me, deep in my heart I cry crazily.
Bila orang lain bercerita tentang abah mereka, i start to feel sad. but yes, i'm a good actor. never cry in front of them. just once, in front of iza. on the day that he's gone. Act like nothing, start story bout my abah, it's not something easy to handle. laugh awkwardly and act like strong. yeah that's me.
Hilang semangat nak belajar, hilang semangat nak balik, hilang semangat nak buat apa-apa. i just miss abah. i just want to kiss him, hug him and said that i love him. something that i miss to do when he's alive. and that is what i regret the most.
there is time, when you feel very lonely, and you just want to cry over and over again. that is what happen to me now. i felt very empty.
Abah dah tak ada. ayat paling kejam abad ni yang aku penah dengar. ayat yang aku langsung tak sangka kangah akan ckap kat aku. ayat yang aku tak pernah terfikir akan jadi kat aku. not now. but well, that's what happen. tak boleh nak lari dari kenyataan. itu yang aku kene hadap.
Lepas ni dah tak dengar abah membebel suruh belajar. Leps ni dah tak ada abah nak ambil and hantar balik usm. Lepas ni dah tak de abah nak bawak pergi econsave beli barang nak balik usm. Lepas ni dah tak dengar abah marah pukul 3 pagi tak tido lagi. Lepas ni dah tak de orang nak marah beli novel n komik banyak banyak. Lepas ni dah tak de orang nak marah bangun tido lambat. Lepas ni dah tak de orang nak belikan nasi lemak sekamat. Dah tak de orang nak bawak bali makanan dari masjid.
Sekarang semuanya dah tak de. semuanya kene buat sendiri. dah tak bole nak harapkan abah. sebab abah dah tak de.
T_____T